Synchronicity's Spine Number

Item: Strange echo found in the cover illustrations of The Criterion Collection's releases for May 17, 2011. A woman's hand presses upon a man's brow and in context neither gesture is particularly soothing.

Vague opinion: It goes without saying, I hope, that both films are renowned knockers off of socks, and a better use of one's disposable income than attendance at any pictures opening this weekend, whatever the weekend.

Performance and Image/ Circle and Diagonal

Strange visual resonance found on the covers of two upcoming Criterion Collection releases.

What can it mean? Will you close your eyes and refuse this disconcerting correlation? Or like the churchgoers faced with the mural of destruction in The Seventh Seal, will you look and think upon it until it becomes more frightening? The bottom image appears when the two covers are laid upon one another. Otherwise polarized, the nodes where the photos connect allow both covers full 360-degree transformation. The motionless wet-wool blanket sky of the Bergman set (fast inside, slow outside), the sickened buzz-blur of the Two-Lane Blacktop landscape (slow inside, fast outside). Both fine snapshot summaries of the respective films, now both images roil and fuzz out, with the friction of their opposite approaches to the same existential conundrum. The sea and pavement become rippling solid. A man perches atop a spinning wheel. The '55 Chevy points off to contemplate an empty

Rip-Off Alert: PRETTY IN PINK: Everything's Duckie Edition

Besides falling prey to the trend of obnoxious variations on "special edition", last week's spanking new and spakly (literally) DVD Pretty in Pink: Everything's Duckie Edition commits one serious crime. Sending the pulse of any John Hughes fan racing is the back of box copy: THE ORIGINAL ENDING: The Lost Dance. That's a word-for-word quote. So though there is everything on-hand a Pink Head could want, including genuinely informative production featurettes and a Howard Deutch director's commentary, the Holy Grail of PiP is, like, totally M.I.A. The original ending, in which Jon Cryer's Smiths fan motormouth nancy boy character Duckie ends up in the arms of Ringwald's scrappy thrift store princess, Andie, is simply not on the DVD. There is discussion of the scene, there is explanation for the test audience approved replacement, where Andrew McCarthy's flare-nostrilled blank-slate Young Republican Blane (BLANE? His name is Blane?!) earns Andie's heart... by doing nothing whatsoever.... but "the original ending" itself is not present, boldface type promise or no.

It's hard not to recommend the disc otherwise, because it's a generous package at such a low price-point (online retailers price it at less than $9). It's also interesting that this slightly cultier Hughes title was given an upgrade before the more wildly popular Breakfast Club or mega-smash Home Alone: someone knows the audience for Pretty in Pink pretty well. With limited interest in production featurettes unless they're particularly forthwith, all I really needed was a Deutch commentary, and never expected the original ending to be touched by projector light or laser-beam again anyway. I suspect other fans of this sensitive and sweet film feel the same; we didn't need such glittery bait, so why the cruel switch?

Who is FANTOMA?...

... More like "Where WAS Fantoma?"!

Citing the usual distribution woes, Fantoma DVD's official website was recently quietly updated for the first time in more than a year, and R.W. Fassbinder's hilarious, nasty masterpiece Why Does Herr R. Run Amok? hit shelves on Tuesday, May 30... Even more surprising and happy-making, among the announcements are a short-n-sweet release calendar. On June 27th, another Educational Archives four-volume collection, this time in novelty "School Locker" packaging, and containing the four discs not included in the pricey and space-consuming (sense bitterness?) Lunchbox Edition. On July 25th, the Fassbinder Collection II repackages Fantoma's Martha and In a Year with 13 Moons discs. The only scheduled new film is Yasuzo Masumura's bloody/weepy Red Angel on August 22nd. The collections seem like obvious placeholders until a release is scheduled for the history-making long-promised Films of Kenneth Anger. Fantoma hints that the Anger discs will be available before the year is out... rocketing this up to the top of Kinetoscope's Most Anticipated list (for the Curious Reader: early reviews of Anchor Bay's Cemetery Man have cooled all anticipation. Blargh).

Kinetoscope doesn't usually bother with DVD news (I know where I go for that stuff, and it's the same places you go), unless I'm particularly jazzed about something. The excitement here is mostly over the return of the Fantoma label. Of the 100-or-so boutique labels worth paying attention to (investigate the sidebar for a primer), Fantoma's been a personal favorite. I like the catalogue, which spans Blue Underground/ Synapse world-class sleazo territory (Blind Beast), but tips more steeply into art house heavies (those Fassbindies that eluded Criterion) and cult genres. I like the attention lavished on minor works from important artists; Hercules in the Haunted World and Fando and Lis are two discs a viewer with even a passing interest in Bava and Jodorowski cannot be without. I like the undeniable editorial taste demonstrated when compiling the Educational Archives volumes, the kind of material Something Weird Video offers in an un-filtered deluge of DVD-R and VHS, which makes similar SWV titles grab-bag party tapes, but frequently dull. I like the uniformity of packaging, with title logo, and director's name listed in red, like the author of a book, along the black spines. A lot of the above may be true of other boutique contenders, but Fantoma's peculiar air of class and cool makes their discs more collectible -- and I'm a sucker for the smart collectible -- and their selection of supplements only when informative and useful elevates Fantoma product from other packed-with-junk but empty-at-heart cult discs.

Fantoma's track record is not exactly spotless, but I'm still glad they are in control of the Kenneth Anger films, even with the years of delays. They've always seemed to me a disreputable little brother to Criterion, and something about Criterion's austerity and reputation has stripped some trashy mystique from their cult and underground releases. Who, after all, feels as titilated or mind-blasted by Derek Jarman's film as they used to, after seeing Criterion's Jubilee? And even Criterion might have drawn the line at the encyclopedia-cum-treasure-chest of Fantoma's One From the Heart, a marvelous, overblown set aimed at so small an audience it's rumored to have almost sunk the DVD label like Coppola's film toppled his Zoetrope. That's the foolhardy movie-love I like in a DVD company, and the kind of devoted craziness that I pray is stalling the Anger DVDs.

Anyhow, welcome back, Fantoma. I was pulling for you the whole time, buddy. Just don't do it again.

Vermilion Pleasure Night, EVERY Night

I don't usually bother with "news" here, but this regards the single funniest thing I've ever seen.

This slipped my notice until today, but ADV Films began releasing volumes of "Oh! Mikey" on DVD last month. These US editions of the all-mannequin-acted Dadaist comedy sketch-turned-3-minute-sitcom save one from having to purchase outrageously expensive Japanese discs. And I mean "save," because once you've seen the brutal, bizarre and hysterical (in all senses of the word) expose of the human condition that is "Oh! Mikey", you must show them to all who will watch.

Ex-Kinetoscope's second most anticipated DVD releases of 2006 has suddenly become "Oh! Mikey" Vol. 2!

Anchor Bay Announces Soon-To-Be-Broken Street Date!

Dread Central says Anchor Bay Entertainment is now reporting a Dellamorte Dellamore Cemetery Man DVD street date of June 13, 2006. Meanwhile, no change at the official ABE website. Huzzah!... ?

If anybody believes anything Anchor Bay says regarding this DVD anymore, you deserve to have a bouncing head bite you in the neck. The company has certainly long-ago wiped away any built-up benefit-of-the-doubt goodwill, by botching nearly every single Dario Argento release, including two in the last year. Me, I don't believe it until death, death, death comes sweeping down, and that little silver disc is in my house.

"I'm pointing this at you, Anchor Bay."

Well, raise a glass of red wine, and here's to crying, waiting, waiting, waiting, and hoping. Hold onto your R2's, folks!

Tuesday Amazing DVD Cover: "Full House" - The Complete Third Season

Moving apartments to co-habitate with my favorite Scream Queen, I was recently in a position to repeatedly individually handle every single DVD I own. Blanket-statement-speaking, the world has accepted that home video packaging is ugly. They could be a place for an extension of the enclosed artistic expression like album covers. They could be tastefully designed objects, like book dust jackets. But they're usually a blurry photo of Chevy Chase with the contrast turned up, his pores painted out, and the Photoshop "glow" effect cranked up to 150... right? Right?

WRONG! Exploding Kinetoscope totally loves cover art!

This week: our universal love/hate/let's-not-talk-about-it relationship with "Full House" continues, with the upcoming Complete Third Season.

Woah, Deej, is this a Janet Jackson video?
The "Full House" covers aren't "ugly," but going far out of their way to be garish and look like an early-'90s shopping mall renovation. The color scheme isn't quite as good as the pink and bright green for First Season, but it's nice the design team is making sure cast photos are accurate for each season (pay attention, "M*A*S*H"!) I like the subtle idea of being able to tell where you are in the show's run by looking at Jodi Sweetin's cast photo on the sleeve.

The extra features list promises a "bonus montage showcasing Joey's impersonations."