Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Weak End Box Orifice Report



Hey, did you guys know that Netflix lets you stream most of Guy Maddin's movies over your WiiStation 3? Also that Criterion put out Blu-rays of Lola Montès and Black Narcissus that, if one is craving some manner of "eye candy" (yuck), are like melting a Kit-Kat on your sclera? We don't have to see the 3D cats or the non-spectacle of C. Nolan's tiny imagination or be sad that the 3D cats stole more money from children's parents than the much nicer movie about Ramona and Beezus, which if you do not trust my opinion about, here are the more trustworthy Dennis Cozzalio's comments on the same.

Anywhat, this weekend I was drinking some fine Cold Ones and glancing at the boffo boxface reports and saw that Internet people are still very concerned about what these mean for the jobs of people who they don't know. e.g.— I actually read this one fellow, who I am too civilized to link to, saying that these particular Scott the Pilgrim money figures "prove that geek culture is not mainstream culture." I didn't look at this movie yet, but isn't it like a bunch of Mario Bros. jokes, and the dude is playing a rock guitar on the poster? It's not like the movie's about a Texas Instruments graphing calculator that learns to read David Brin novels. Why does this Prove anything to anyone about anything? Also e.g.— that M.E. Winstead is a b.o. poison, first sinking Grindhouse, now Scottish Pilgrim! If it weren't for this crazy dame, people would flock to see tributes to the exploitation movies of the '70s and adaptations of Canadian romance comics! Now, I certainly made up the second e.g., but you know the sort of discussions of which I speak.

I'll tell you what the puzzling thing is: the crap performance of Step Up 3D. Because seeing awesome dancing on a big screen is something that everyone in the world who is not a creep likes to see. Maybe someone in marketing put a wrong demographic in their blanket release of a multiplier.

Basically what I'm saying is, people, all that matters is what makes you happy. And lists about money never make anyone happy.

5 comments:

Habitual Q. Rake said...

Oh, it drives me mental to be roped into conversations about the scores of different movies, in their first weekend, no less. If I wanted to closely follow and make dubious predictions from statistics that deeply affect the lives of millionaires and pretty much no one else, I'd have gotten into sports or this whole "stock market" thing.

Izzy said...

Scott Pilgrim, however, makes me happy.

Anonymous said...

I believe one of the U.S. exchanges received regulatory approval to trade box office receipts contracts. Those interested will soon be able to "speculate" on how well/poorly a new release will perform and make real dollars if they're any good at it. Yay!!

Chris Stangl said...

Dig it, guys. It is frustrating how many casual, water cooler sorts of conversations about movies in the real world immediately turn to awards and ticket sales as some sort of indicator of artistic merit. I don't believe they indicate anything but the success of marketing campaigns, distribution channels and etcs. Box office figures don't even indicate public taste, but it seems like it has to be pointed out or carefully explained that nobody gets to decide what they thought of the movie before they paid for it. Some of those INCEPTION monies are mine, but the monies don't reflect my opinion of how you can't tell where the cars and gunmen are in relation to each other during the rainy traffic jam scene.

On another hand, there's something to be said about the concept of voting with one's dollars, and it's not entirely unrelated to these issues. I'm not entirely immune, both to that thinking and from making public pleas to such ends, though when I encourage people to "save" SPEED RACER or GRINDHOUSE, I'm speaking more of reputation than money. That those films or SCOTT PILGRIM are "flops" after two days is vaguely interesting but not so horrifying to me as that John Waters and David Lynch cannot get projects financed. So here's the deal: I try to buy as much product as possible from boutique DVD labels, and dollar-vote to encourage the careers of small filmmakers and niche releases from studios. I don't think it matters if I was a raindrop in the ocean of the weekend take for INCEPTION or EXPENDABLES. The tide crashes ever forth!

In conclusion, I am considering doing BO analysis every Monday, because it will bring me more traffic and lure more advertisers to my net.

E.D. Hardy, Jr. said...

Hey Chris. Thanks for your extended take on RAMONA & BEEZUS in the comments over at SL&tIFFR. I thought I was the only boy who grew up loving Beverly Cleary. You pointed out the blue collar milieu she depicted so well, and it was that aspect of her books that made them feel more familiar and relevant to my own life than anything else I was reading. I don't know if I'll get around to seeing the movie, but I'm definitely going to check out that RAMONA mini-series!